This week I have been feeling a little overwhelmed and anxious with my own self. I’ve been feeling as though my head is in a million places, and subsequently, feeling guilty that I’m not actually doing anything particularly well. Last night I read an insightful article by Mia Freedman titled ‘The Biggest Lie back to work Mums tell‘. I found that it resonated with me and really struck a chord. I’ve always admired the way in which Mia embraces being a working Mum. She seems to ‘have it all’. She loves her job passionately, and equally values her role as a Mum and the time that she devotes to her family. I’ve read in the past that she says you can indeed have it all, just not at the same time. In so many ways, I feel like her. I have a wonderful life. I’m healthy, have a beautiful, generous and hot husband, a darling and daring daughter, my health, family and friends and a wonderful job that I am so passionate about.
This week however, I feel as though I’m not doing any of them justice. I apologise in advance, but here is a list of things that I’m feeling guilty about at the moment:
- generally feeling like I’m not spending quality time with Ella
- feeling as though I’m not at work enough and am not there to do my job full time and help everyone out
- generally neglecting my beautiful Husband
- not taking my dog for a walk each day
- not spending enough time with my family
- not spending time with my beautiful girlfriends
- The washing. The washing.
- The general state of my house.
- The amount of time I spend on my phone
- The list goes on…
I know that as Mums, we all go through times like this. I feel as though I really wish I could clone myself, or at least add another couple of hours to each day. I can’t seem to stay up longer than 9 o’clock at night and I wish I could stay up to watch a movie with my husband. I just feel so torn between just wanting to BE, and just wanting to BE GOOD at everything. For everyone.
I know rational thought determines that this is not possible, and I do know that something has to give. It is just so hard when I want so many things at the same time. Ultimately I want to spend time with my family. I want to be there with Ella, to take her swimming and to Gymbaroo. However, I also want to be active and involved in an amazing job that I love. It’s a job that doesn’t feel like work. It’s just that there are so many things in my life now that are all consuming. This blog for instance has taken on a life of its own. It’s a small hobby that has developed into something that has really become a big part of my life. I also write an Education Blog to share inspirations and innovations from classrooms to hopefully help teachers bring a love of learning into their own.
I know that I can only do my best, and that ultimately, I believe that I am a better Mum for having a job I love. I want to model to Ella the fact that you can love what you do, and do it with passion each day. I just hope that whilst I am doing all of these things, I’m not missing out on the precious time that I should be taking time to treasure.
The guilt, the guilt. Why oh why do we do this to ourselves? I guess we just need to learn to BE and stop worrying about the rest. This too shall pass.