I need to start this post by saying that I am not in any way, a medical expert, nor am I writing this to bestow advice. I’m writing this post because I am a Mum with a problem, and I want to find the solution. I actually know the answer, but I feel that writing about my fears, concerns and hopes will help me to come to a better resolution. I find that the advice of my readers often helps me to put problems in perspective, and this is what I’m hoping to get out of this post.
My husband and I were talking last night about whether or not I should continue to breast feed Hudson. Medical experts and most Mums would agree, that if you can breast feed, it is best for your baby. Each Mum is different however and should feel supported with what ever means of feeding they choose for the health of their baby. I have been lucky with both of my children, that I have found breast feeding relatively smooth and easy. Sure, I’ve suffered from sore, cracked nipples, engorgement and painful lumps and blocked ducts, but I have never suffered through Mastitis, or the pain that comes from not being able to breast feed. The problem here, does not lie with me. It lies with my son.
Hudson has, in his short life so far, suffered from shocking colic. In the day he is currently coping ok, but at night never seems to settle after 2am. Nearly three months in, we are almost at our whits end, and are desperate for an answer. We have tried everything….Reflux medication, Dairy free, raising the crib, Infacol, Infants Friend, Gripe water..the list goes on. What does seem to help him is the one bottle of breast milk we give him before ‘bed time’. He sleeps from approx 9pm – 2am fairly soundly. This bottle contains a thickener in it, however I believe in my heart that it is the bottle, not the thickened that is helping him.
The reason I believe this, is Hudson has become increasingly fussy whilst breast feeding. He is on and off, thrashing around and I’m constantly confused as to how much milk he has taken in. I guess I am feeling confused as to what is best for him right now, Is he taking in too much air whilst feeding, and thus suffers shocking gas pain? He certainly takes the milk from the bottle very well, and is settled afterwards.
However in my heart, I do not want to give up breast feeding yet. I feel he is still too little. I would express after each bottle feed, however given the fact that I have a toddler this is not practical. I don’t want to dry up. I breast fed Ella until 8 months, when I went back to work and naturally dried up. It would break my heart if this happened at such an early stage. Bottle feeding also has its draw backs. Night feeding with bottles is time consuming. He also hates the car, and if he ends up screaming, it’s not like I can easily get a bottle ready.
I want to do what is best for him, and I know that breast milk is best if I can. The problem is, he is getting such little sleep in the night, and so are we, that it is starting to take it’s toll. I feel for my Husband who has to get up and go to work every day. We are all doing ok, and have moments where his beautiful smile makes it all worthwhile. I just want him to be a little more comfortable, so that both he and we can all sleep a bit better.