Today, I’ve been having one of those days. One of those days that we struggle to parent. Where everything goes wrong. When it rains, it pours, or rather buckets down. Today I had that twinge of guilt when I (fleetingly) felt like I didn’t want to be dealing with Motherhood today (don’t hate me).
You see my day started off like this:
8am: Kids yelling and screaming at each other
8.10am: Ella started crying because Hudson tipped all of her Shopkins down the ducted heating vent
8.20am: Hudson took his nappy off and wee’d down the corridor
8.30am: Whilst the kids were eating breakfast, I tried to get ready (highlight tried). Ella screams’ MUUUUM’ and I return to find my two year old son had climbed up onto the bench, helped himself to the honey, took it back and squeezed it all over the carpet. Having a ball at the same time I might add.
8.30-9am: After googling, ‘how to remove honey from carpet’ I use a whole packet of wipes to try to remove it, without damaging the carpet.
9.15am: kids are ready, Mum is ready, gather everyone and everything up to head out to do erands before ballet. Can’t find keys.
9.16am: realise my keys are in hubby’s car. Call Hubby. He has my keys. Realise that my day is screwed. Hubby puts keys in an uber.
9.45am: Uber arrives with keys. We head off to ballet.
We all have days like this. Days that are hard. Days that we know are an anomaly. You see the thing that has made me feel better though is knowing that I’m not alone. Knowing that whilst I’m sitting here cleaning up honey from my carpet with baby wipes, that somehow, somewhere there is someone else doing the same thing. Having a rubbish day. After sharing my horrid start to the day with my friends and followers, I was ‘virtually’ picked back up onto my feet by the dozens of messages. Messages of empathy. Messages from friends and strangers who exist in this ‘virtual’ village. This village of Motherhood. Sometimes they are people who I know, and who know me. They know that I am someone who needs to talk things through to get through them. To be ‘talked out’ of what feels like, catastrophe. To vent. And then there are those ‘friends’ who I only know as their IG handle. Those virtual friends who often and regularly share messages of support, knodding through cyberspace.
Well I can tell you that all of this helps. Whether its virtual or in real life, getting behind your mates when they are having a rough day is often the thing that gets them through. Motherhood is blissful and wonderful, but sometimes it can be downright hard to tackle. It’s the phone call from a friend, or a message from someone who you ‘know’ or funnily enough even don’t, that can change the way you feel about your day, and yourself.
None of us can really know how to ‘Mother’ until we do it in real life. We go to school, we practice driving a car, we test out recipes. But Motherhood? We only know how to do it, when we do it. We succeed, we make mistakes. Lots of them. Some of us are lucky to have family close by, and others call their friends their family. No matter what we are, or who we are, we are all human and all need help from time to time. It takes a village to raise a child. It also takes a village to raise a parent.
So today, thanks to your messages of empathy, humour and hope….my day has indeed gotten better. We’ve had a laugh, we’ve baked a cake, we’ve played some games. I’ve left the mess and just sat on the couch and read a book with my little ones.
I hope that you all, no matter what you are doing have someone to pep you up if you are feeling down. It may even be topped off with a kiss from your little ones.
Keep calm and Mother on.