I’m sitting down this morning to write, to de-stress and to just get it out. I haven’t sat down to write a blog post in a while. The result of sleep deprivation, being the Mum of two and just generally feeling like I am running around like a headless chook. I normally chip away at blog posts on my phone whilst breast feeding at 2am in the morning, but lately I have found myself dosing off at night, and trying to pay attention as he is quite fussy during feeds. Whilst I’m feeling ok emotionally about the whole Motherhood thing round two, for some reason over the last couple of weeks I have really started to feel the effects of the mayhem of Motherhood.
Namely, losing my memory. No one tells you that after you have a baby, you tend to be quite forgetful, and this never seems to come back. Those who know me, know that I tend to lose things. Wallet, sunglasses (think Bvlgari, Prada), keys, bags…you know, the things you need each and every day. However after having my second baby, this tendency has multiplied. I tend to pray to good old St Anthony more than a few times a week. I have the most incredible long term memory, and can recollect something that was said on the first day of prep by one of my life long friends. Ask me, however, to tell you where my hand bag is right now and I would struggle.
It has started to really stress me out. So much so that I find myself looking back over my shoulder in the car, just to make sure that I haven’t left one of my kids at home. My husband jokingly told me last night that it doesn’t matter if I lose things, just don’t lose the kids. A joke, yes but the scary thing is I’m worried that I might one day!
It’s just so incredibly frustrating to have trouble with your short term memory. It’s often when I’m rushing out the door that the most basic of items causes me to spend half an hour searching for them. Just this weekend, I lost my wallet again. We were at Ikea of all places and I spent the afternoon phoning security and centre management, unpacking the car and wracking my brain to think of where it could be. After checking our bank accounts we noticed that no one had used the cards, so I gave it another day before I would cancel my cards. Needless to say that I found it the next day in Ella’s back pack. I had packed a bag for her (in my wisdom) and had put my wallet in there so that I wouldn’t have to take my whole bag. Last year I also lost my husband’s wallet at Ikea. Lucky for me, some good samaritan handed it in.
Keeping it real…feeling and seeing the effects of Motherhood!
It’s really hard to keep repeating this process over and over. You end up spending so much time searching for it, only to remember a few days later that you put it in a logical spot. I must be so incredibly hard to live with that I’m often stressed for my own Husband. My brain just feels s. incredibly full, all the time. It’s hard to actually stop and think about where I put things. To put my sunglasses back in their case. To put my car keys in my bag. I often feel like I’m losing it and know that I should just stop, take time to think and pay attention.
Like I said, I’m sitting down writing this this morning to help myself relax and calm down about it. My only solace is that apparently research has shown that the higher your IQ, the more forgetful you are.
By those odds, I must be a genius.
If you have any ideas to help me find or improve my memory, let me know. Maybe even say a little prayer to St Anthony for me.
*Image from www.insidethebrain.com
