Well I have finally done it. This week, I bit the bullet, and have moved Hudson to bottles. Who would have thought that it would have been so hard to do, but yes, it’s been an emotional battle that has had me in tears time and time and again. I’ve felt a wave of emotions, guilt, frustration and finally a sense of relief as I do know in my head that this is better for him. My heart however still needs a little time to catch up, but I know it will.
I was thinking about what to call this post, when I remembered that I wrote a very similar one, when we moved Ella to bottles just before I went back to work. Ella was breast fed until 8 months, and with return to work looming, I knew that it was the right time. I did however, feel a similar range of emotions, and found myself nodding at my own thoughts, as I read this post this second time around. I wrote:
‘It’s funny that the transition from breast feeding, to bottle feeding, or in our case both has been something that I have found really hard. Not so much from the physical side, but the emotional one. I know that at heart I am a very emotional person, but whilst my obstacles have not been greatly physical in terms of soreness etc. , the challenge of taking the step towards moving my baby away from something that I now love has been really hard. I know there are so many Mums who struggle with so many different facets of feeding, its endless. I know in the end that I am doing the right thing for my baby ‘
Wise words Kate. Why can’t I be my own counsellor?
This time around, the reason for transition has been a little different. Hudson simply feeds much better on bottles and this strategy helped him to settle more at night. This in turn meant that he started to fuss and turn away from breast feeding, and so another challenge reared it’s head. I’ve had so many lovely messages from readers and friends who have eased my anxiety and helped me come to the conclusion that mixed feeding is indeed best. Whilst it is virtually impossible with a toddler to continue to express so that he still receives breast milk, I’m doing my best and expressing when I can so that he still gets the benefit of breast milk as he grows. I’ll maintain that for as long as I can.
So onward and upward…hopefully my little man continues to grow big and strong, and his little tummy gets more resilient.
2 comments
Hi there, I stumbled across your blog when I was pregnant with my first baby and looking for all the parenting info I could find! My son is now 10 weeks and this post is particularly helpful to me as I am going through similar issues ATM. We had a bit of a rough start- my milk supply wasn’t great and my baby wasn’t thriving so we were recommended to top him up- the problem now is that he is very fussy on the breast and u cannot maintain his weight without supplementing expressed milk and formula. We have been to clinics and consultants trying so hard to exclusively breastfeed but it just does not work for us. It has been so emotional and I still feel guilty, but I try and focus on the positives- my boy is happy (when he is full!!) and is slowly catching up and gaining weight. As mothers, all we want for our children is the best, and if that means bottles, then there is nothing wrong. I still feel that I am judged by some people, but know in my heart that I am doing what is right, as are you! Thank you for sharing your story, it had helped me come to terms with our decision to continue mixed feeding. I hope both of your little ones are doing well.
Hi Katherine. Thank you for your beautiful message. I’m so thrilled that you enjoy my posts and I just love knowing that it helps people feel as though they are not alone. Hoping you and your family are well xxx